NE Bench: Missouri

In the light of a setting sun, the mountains cradling my home passed behind the airplane window. The plane turned on its wheels toward the runway rotating my fixed gaze across the horizon, giving me one last panoramic view of the place I love most.

But I could hardly see it.

My eyes were clouded with tears. Wet dripping from my eyes and nostrils. I could feel my heart crack and crumbling inside my chest.

I had already left Utah once. Almost exactly a year ago life took Nate and me to Arizona. Then to Wyoming. And then to Colorado. And this time it was taking me even further.

Missouri. Four states, twenty hours, and 1,300 miles away.

I had kept it all under wraps through security and while boarding the plane. But sitting there I kept replaying the hug from my mom in the parking lot of her work, and Burger Supreme shakes with my family.

I just let myself cry. And cry and cry.

It was no coincidence that the front half of the plane where we were sitting was relatively empty, or that we had three seat to the two of us.

The Lord has been generous with me and His tender mercies. No one could see me wiping my tears and snot on the Moab, UT T-shirt my dad gave me. The plan engines were loud enough to stifle my sobs. And one of my greatest mercies of all had his arms draped around me.

This new job is actually a tender mercy, too.

Being on our sixth move in the year and a half we had been married, this new job with Lhoist would give us the chance to stay put for a while. After one more move to Virginia in about a year, of course.

(More on all of our moves in a future post.)

That flight was Saturday, April 30^th.

We spent the next two weeks in a hotel waiting for all of our earthly belongings, cars and all, to make the trek to MO. During that time, I watched so much HGTV I could probably remodel an entire house. (Not really.) I drove Nate to and from work in the rental car. I’d roll down the windows on those back roads and enjoy the beauty of all the fields on my way to the limestone quarry. I saw turtles sun bathing, gorgeous red cardinals, a crane, a hawk attacking some prey, and plenty of dead armadillos on the side of the road. Nate and I got to eat lunch together every day. We’ve tried just about every restaurant in Ste. Genevieve and found the best onion rings in the world.

We also got to go to our first Cardinals game in the Peabody Suite, thanks to Nate’s work. After a pit stop at Walmart for some red swag we looked like locals. There were hot dogs, nachos, chicken wings, cookies, soda, more nachos, and pretzels. I ate everything and it was amazing. You couldn’t beat the view. There is something about large groups of people who are really excited about something together that just makes me so happy.

Finally, we moved into our cute little home. There’s a lawn, space for tomato plants and always a few little squirrels scampering around in front of the kitchen windows for me to watch. I love it. It is so green and beautiful here. Day by day, piece by piece, my heart feels a little more whole. I will never stop missing my family and home, but this is home too. I know this is where we are supposed to be and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.